Group Ride 31/1/09-C2C Pembrokeshire Tour

It's basically a Tour of Pembrokeshire. We plan to do the same route on Sunday with the cyclists changing the legs from the previous day. Click on the 'View Larger map' button to see the route. To create a feeling of exhaustion it is felt necessary to have a relatively wild night drinking 2 to 3 pints and having a sing song with 'The Two Fat Cyclists' in the Springwell Inn on Saturday evening. All team members will be expected to take part in the festivities with Karaoke style singing or optional mandolin playing. Team Spirit is needed - we'll probably eat together aswell. Please post up what songs you will be attempting asap.


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We'll look like idiots if we blast it from the off !

Coast2Coast & The Tenby Aces Reliability Series (Round 1)

A cold wet and windy start to Sunday morning brought the news via text at 7am that Mr Edwardakis was not up for the planned 40 miler from Tenby to Castlemartin and back. `Tough I'm en-route` was my short reply.

After a quick cuppa at Andy's we set off towards Tenby Leisure Centre at about mach 1. Halfway through the journey as the Yaris blasted its way through the countryside a Buzzard flew out in front of the car.. "whooa I think we got it" I said..looking back to see if 6 foot of feathered thing was jammed in the bikes on the rear rack. The big man was calmness personified, " it's an omen, I must ride like a bird of prey on the wing today...no one can stop me...I'll destroy the Tenby peleton".

After a quick change in the car park we set off at a fairly brisk pace where we found ourselves in the middle of the pack and pushing hard into a strong head wind towards the coast. After about 45 mins a couple of the front runners suffered punctures and we started slowly to drag ourselves up the order.

At Castlemartin and about an hour or so into our journey we picked up Andrew Millward and the 3 of us made good time to the turn at Freshwater West and started to stretch out in front until we were met at Pembroke by a couple of the others.

The peleton bunches up through the town centre but as we get to the other side, Lance `The Buzzard Slayer` Edwards announces to me that he's "going to blast it for a bit and that we'll all probably catch him on the Ridgeway climb"... We're 2 hrs in and I can see The Slayer's got a plan, he wants to get home inside 3hrs and get into the silver time group...he fancies it you can see it.

As we pass the rugby football club I can see his arse, quite literally (as he has very thin lycra shorts) 200m ahead but I just about manage to stick in view (and keep my energy bar down, the view is not fantastic). As we approach the village of Lamphey he's just out of site but I'm confident of cathcing him still. At this point I feel a slight touch of my rear wheel, Mr Millward is still there...I get out of the saddle and put the hammer down a bit and believe I`m clear.

Entering Lamphey I start to bank right to follow the road through the village when suddenly - `smash!!` and I'm heading for a garden wall, this is not good... I come to a halt having managed to stay upright even though I made contact with the wall and turn to see Mr Millward ` the Father of the peleton on the floor pointing at a junction we had just started to pass muttering `that way`. I'd turned and followed the wrong road and in the process had contact for a second time today with disastrous consequences.

Everybody's up and OK but to my disappointment several spokes in the rear have been snapped and the bike is unrideable. I have no choice but to sit it out and await the return of the chosen one.

45 mins later he turns up beaming and giggling, `do you want to take a photo of me? of the winner? the first person home?`. "I'm sorry about your bike can we go home now, no I don't want to take your photo....". Take a photo of me, take a photo of me... and on it goes... Andy Edwards 1st 2hrs 30 mins.............. Phil Jenkins DNF!

happy collisions

Phil Jenkins

Team Cyclist
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Excellent blog Keanu, despite your opening gamit I fear my role as Blogmiester General may indeed be under some danger of a coup d' etat.

Sounds like you got mixed up and had a detour through Goetre, not a nice place to be mixed up and should only be a once in a lifetime experience if you can help it. Bryn is not much better and it sounds as though you visited that hell hole as well.

The Dolan Sisters have split. My 11 month old has fatal injuries and is currently in a cardboard box at Mr Terry Dolan's mortuary somewhere up North awaiting a Dr Quincy M.E.style verdict on cause of death. Initial investigations suggest a severe case of being fucked near the crank thing.... This week I have been mostly riding the silver dream machine (Andy's Old Trek) - in the shed on the dreaded turbo otherwise known as the Kingcycle. 'Kaning it'

Hope to have a new steed soon and look forward to both seeing your good self and Stormin` Norman who will no doubt indulge us in huge volumes of Poppy style rivieting cyclo converstaions and enlightening repartee at the end of the month for our planned group outing.

Happy Cycling (for those that have bikes in working order)

Phil

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The Viking Challenge 09

Teams raised over £300 at The Morfa Bay Adventure ‘Viking Challenge’ sponsored by Red Bull and Castell HowellFour teams raised over £300 at The Morfa Bay Adventure ‘Viking Challenge’ sponsored by Red Bull and Castell Howell.

‘The Men of Gwent’ were victorious in four of the six events. Full marks gained for their performance in ‘The Viking Boat Race’, ‘The Climbing Wall’, ‘The Viking Welly Wangin’ and ‘The Axe Throwing’ put them at the front of the pack when it came to the ‘Assault Course’ finale.

Outstanding arrows from Henry’s Angels kept them in the hunt for the top spot only to lose time on a photo shoot at the sheep pen on the Assault Course. Henry had kept his team motivated throughout the challenge, by leading his troops through thick and thin and putting himself at the front of all activities, especially the easy climbing wall.

An inability to focus on the skills involved in the challenge meant that ‘The Bargoed Rangers’ had trouble keeping in touch with the front-runners. Weak upper body strength saw them fade away during the welly wangin and with a pitiful, sickening effort in the Boat Race left way out of touch.

‘Team Porth’ worked averagely throughout and with a 3 second advantage won the Assault Course to win a second position overall.

' Men of Gwent', captain Greg receiving 'The Viking Trophy 09 from Mervyn Cooper, ex champion field gun trainer for Devonport Services.

1^st Men of Gwent – 25pts

2^nd Team Porth – 16pts,

3^rd Henry’s Angels – 13pts

4^th Bargoed Rangers – 11pts

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A Day Out with Gar!

Thought I might have a go at this blogging lark, although Phil's role as blogger in chief is pretty safe!

The day started with me (Richard) standing head bowed like a school child in front of the Head Master as the guy in the bike shop chastised me for not cleaning my bike sufficiently, which had aggravated and /or caused the horrific clunking sound. Still he wasn't slow in taking the £120.

So with new brake pads, bottom bracket, cables, rear brake caliper and only the sound of Gareth's ipod to annoy me we set off from Cardiff to take on the Bwlch. It was just the Cardiff contingent present for today's ride (Richard and Gareth) with the Dolan Sisters (Phil and Andy) in the mood for dancing, romancing elsewhere.

Gareth had spent a good proportion of the previous day plotting a route which promised 3 big climbs after the initial 40 miles of the 100 odd planned.

The initial stint was relatively uneventful with just Gareth's unusual compliance with all aspects of the Highway Code worthy of any note and possibly responsible for his inability to keep warm as he stopped and started.

Once the outer limits of Cardiff were reached the going became much more steady out towards Bridgend and beyond.

In Pyle as Gareth stopped at yet another amber light under the guise of asking where the nearest cafe was he rendezvoused with his BALCO contact. As luck had it she did know where a cafe was and so I tucked in to a couple of eggs on toast while Gareth, ever the professional, enjoyed a ham omelette and chips opting to leave the side salad.

The easy part of the ride over with we set off towards Port Talbot and beyond. However, in Treilach my navigational skills failed me and we ended up taking a wrong turn. A couple of hundred metres past the turning we should have taken we realised and pulled over to discuss whether we should turn back. But with Gareth's profound statement "This road's got to lead somewhere" we continued onwards. It wasn't long before we realised this road hadn't seen a lot of traffic and the gritting lorry most certainly hadn't paid it a visit (the nearest this road had got to salt on it was when an errant local girl dropped her chips). The road narrowed and got more treacherous with parts of it needing to be walked. In one fell swoop our average speed dropped from a respectable figure of just in excess of 18mph to a decidedly average 15mph.

Gareth was right though, and the road did lead somewhere sadly it wasn't to the Bwlch and although we had it in our sights several times we ended up on the way to Maesteg and there would be no major climbs just the previously experienced short sharp deep burn fuckers. Still the build up of lactic did bring small respite from the cold. Having added an hour to the trip through the lanes we decided to cut things short and head back towards Llantrisant and then on to Cardiff. The only issue being20deciding which way that was as Maesteg is largely devoid of road signs.

After several attempts at engaging the locals we finally managed to get confirmation that we were heading the right way, but proceedings were brought to a premature end when my spoke went and the wheel buckled. A hasty phone call to Mrs "The One" and she was on her way to pick us up.

While I waited Gareth went on ahead with empty water bottles to get some tea and then a greying cyclist offered mechanical assistance and got me moving again, albeit a little gingerly. Gareth returned with the rankest tea in existence and we free wheeled on towards Llantrisant where Mrs "The One" with "The Young Ones" was waiting in the McDonalds car park.

2 burgers and chips later and Gareth was ready to head back - it's a day off from the diet and after all we have just burned 4000 calories.

So no major climbs, 40 miles short of the planned 100 miles and yet another bill to pay in the bike shop!
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-11 in Nantgaredig! said Mr Brockaway

Cold Snap - chilblains, frozen feet, no way am I going out on the road! The Turbo takes a bashing every night - I wonder if it's enough but there's nothing more we can do training wise.

Logistics - the camper van and people carrier will be booked by early next week. Hostels/hotels will be booked in the following week. Flights have been provisionally booked and will be confirmed Feb 1st.

Here's a message from our cousin in Oz on his Bogcam!

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New Years Eve - It's all for Charity!

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New Year 2008 Celebrations with the Two Fat Cyclists

The Two Fat Cyclists played, as Bryan Adams once said `until their fingers bled` last night for the good people of Laugharne and a couple of girls from Port Talbooot mmunn.

A set list of over 50 songs including a couple of new covers which had seen minimal prep work seemed to go down well with all and particulalry well with two young ladies from Port Talbot, well the posh end, Margam.

As soon as we launched into the first song, the girls with shooters in hand demanded mid song photos - "Photos with the guitarists in`it". So while being partially strangled and trying to croon my way through your lovely to me (Its the Kingsmill advert song in'it) Mr Rhys `Retro` Lloyd Hughes took as many incriminating photos he could for use at a later date.

The girls participation was lapped up by the regulars which meant come the 1st Stereophonics song of the night we were away and we suddenly had 3 part harmonies (I used to be in Fat Barrys band onest! I was his backing singer in'it, I can harmonize with anything onest...anything).

We soon discovered though that Harmonize was a very loose term and reading the lyrics presented a bit of a problem as well. Trying to play and sing the correct words with someone else screaming the wrong ones in a different key in your left ear was a very new and it has to be said almighty challenge. I think we pulled it off though and the craic continued late into the night with another couple of hundred pounds being raised for the coast2coast charity.

Happy harmonizing in 2009

Phil

Team Cyclist
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