Sunday, November 30, 2008

Once we get to Aberaeron we can get on the BANG...Another coast2coast training adventure.

29.11.08 Llandysul-Aberaeron-Synod Inn-Llandysul Loop 50 miles (and bloody freezing too)

The Coast2Coast squad took on another mighty training challenge today with it has to be said, a few more hills than the last full team outing (They don't call it Brynmawr for nothing). This was predominantly down to the fact that Poppy (Gareth)`The Figure Head` Evans (Pen Cala - to his friends) had nothing to do with the route...although being local he was able to provide us with the advance warning that some of the hills on the route were not of the normal sort but, `short sharp, deep burn f**kers and you can blog me on the quote with that` he has such a way with words....

We had all agreed to meet `really early` at the Porth Hotel In Llandysul (the land of the fingerless glove) so we could complete the ride and all get back to watch the match (Wales V's Australia) in good time. Anyway...after a light fuel stop for some quality nutrition at Mcdonald's, the Carmarthen based element arrived at `The Porth` around 8.30am where the leader (Gareth Fabian-Glittersparkle) predictably hadn't put the kettle on or prepared the hot bacon sandwiches.

After a quick chat while awaiting the arrival of - THE ONE (Richard `Keanu` Belcher) the team set off from the Arctic tundra that is Llandysul in minus 3 Celsius towards the coast at Aberaeron where we were promised "it will be warmer there butt with less ice"

The team for this trip had undergone some personnel changes and started out as a sixsome (in the non sexual sense) including two newcomers (Mr Andrew `the tache` James of The Porth Hotel and a slightly plump but attractive ladyboy from www.morfabay.com (Mr Retro Lloyd-Hughes)

Following his dismal performance in the recent Cardiff - Brynmawr - Cardiff One Day Classic, Mr Henry-Magners-Meltwater-Jones was substituted for this challenge by his Brother-in-Law the aforementioned and slightly effeminate Laugharne 2nd's Centre (and as it turned out equally dismal), Rhys `The Failure` Lloyd Hughes.

`The Failure` who often talks a good ride and promised much it has to be said, performed well for the first 25 miles amid constant whinging about his bits getting cold. However, following an unplanned toast and milky coffee stop/binge in Aberaeron brought on by the distant and light whimpering of his mentor, Andy `the thighs` Edwardakis about his wonky little left finger getting chilly on the downhills, spectacularly BONKED or as he said in his own words "was beasted" by the climbs towards Ffos-y-ffin and Synod Inn.

`The Leader` who seemed unaffected by the low temperatures and continues to drop the rest of the peleton and dazzle with his inexplicably improved performances of late (chemically induced???) was heard to shout on several occasions while CYCLO - AIR DRUMING to the rock beats of Shania Twain from his IPOD ` come on Boys let pick it up and time trial it back to base`.

The author also has to confess to having suffered on todays' outing following a nasty bout of manboob flu this week. Although I was heartened by the fact that even I managed to get home a full 5 minutes before THE FAILURE....

Our No.6 and tail gunner - Mr Andrew `the tache` James who we have been advised has a history of `going walkabout`, was forced to turned back after 6 minutes riding this morning with a severe case of `cramp of the hair` hadn't made it back to base by our return some 3 hours later and worryingly remains MIA. He is believed to be being held against his will in an enemy public house near Gorrig.... the family are not too concerned.....

Happy riding

Phil

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You guys seem to be having fun! Wish I'd thought of going out early on a Saturday morning in minus 3 - are you all fat blokes - do you sweat a lot?

Anonymous said...

The nickname of 'pork pie' might give it away. Some of the guys wouldn't sweat at all though, especially going at the same pace of those who are clinically obese and have the same fat % of a pork scratching.

Anonymous said...

alright people...POP here, tell me, was rhys really beasted. The retro loving lifeguard couldnt have been. Surely he was just creating a false sense of security for those of us who are inferior to his peddle power?? Was this not the case??