SONG OF THE TOUR - AN AMERICAN TAIL

TRAVELING IN A BUS FROM SUNNY OCEANSIDE
POPPY WAS POPPING PILLS ALL THE WHILE
RICHARD DIDN’T SAY A THING FOR A THOUSAND MILES
THEN WE STOPPED FOR A CYCLE RIDE

BACK IN THE BUS AND ALONG TO 29 PALMS
IAN WAS DRIVING AND LOST ALL HIS CALM
THE SAT NAV TOOK HIM DOWN A DIRT TRACK TO A FARM
BEAR HAD A BLOW OUT BUT HE CAME TO NO HARM

CHORUS
IN WITH THE BIKES OUT WITH THE BIKES
IN WITH THE BIKES OUT WITH THE BIKES

NEXT IT WAS ON TO KINGMAN AND ROUTE 66
ALL WENT TO A STEAKHOUSE FOR OUR KICKS
CHATSY HAD ANOTHER BURGER – NUMBER 96
HENRY HAD SO MUCH ROOT BEER HE WAS PISSED

NEXT TO GRAND CANYON WITH ONSLOW IZZARD
DROVE US INTO A SNOWY BLIZZARD
PORTH WENT WILD AND DRUNK UP ALL THE TURKEY
WOKE UP IN A BATH AT 4.30

CHORUS

THEN A BIKE RIDE TO MONUMENT VALLEY
DUFFS GOT HIS BIG LENS DROVE US DOLLALLY
NEXT TO MEXICAN HAT AND THE NAVAJO NATION
MERV WAS FAMISHED BUT CARROTS WERE HIS ONLY SALVATION

PEDALLING HARD TO TAOS AND OVER A MOUNTAIN
TEN AND A HALF THOUSAND FEET PHIL WAS REALLY PANTING
OVER THE RIO GRANDE WHERE WE MET ZORRO
BIG PARTY IN THE BARN THEN OFF TOMORROW

CHORUS

THE MARIACHI BAND WERE PLAYING IN THE PLAZA
MERV AND TOM MISSED IT ALL WHILE HUNTING GOAFER
NEXT DAY WE CYCLED ONTO CLOVIS
THE WAFFLES WERE GREAT BUT THE BREAD SURE WASN’T HOVIS

BURNING RUBBER ALL THE WAY TO AUSTIN TEXAS
BRAKES ON THE CAR GAVE UP AND WE WERE HELPLESS
WE THEN TURNED OUR PEDALS OVER TO HOUST-ON
WHERE WE ALL WENT TO THE PUB WITH IAN AND HAD A SING SONG

CHORUS

THEN INTO LOUISIANA WHERE THE SWAMPS GOT DENSER
THE BOYS IN THE CAR ARE DULL THEY’LL NEVER JOIN MENSA
US IN THE BUS THOUGHT THEY HAD BEEN HAD BY A GATOR
THEY GOT LOST IN THE BAYOU SO WE SAW THEM LATER

TRAVELLING FAR ON A BUS TO NEW ORLEANS
DOWN TO BOURBON STREET WHERE WE SAW QUEENS
INTO PAT O BRIEN’S FOR A HURRICANE
MORE THAN ONE NIGHT WOULD DRIVE YOU INSANE

CHORUS

CROSS MISSISSIPPI AND INTO ALABAMA
WE MET DAVE AND SKIP AND SUSANNAH
FROM MOBILE WE CYCLED TO PANAMA CITY
BOYS ROAD HARD BUT ROADS WERE GRITTY

THE WEATHER GOT HOT SO DUFFERS TOOK A SNOOZY
AT THE HOTEL IT WAS ALL IN THE JACUZZI
TO THE LOBSTER FOR A FISHY MEAL
THERE WERE LOTS OF SOLE IN THE PLAICE BUT NO BIG DEAL

~CHORUS

OFF FROM PANAMA CITY THE WEATHER WAS SHITTY
ANDY TOOKA TUMBLE ON THE RAILS COS IT WAS SLIPPY
NEE NAW NEE NAW NEE NAW OFF TO ER
LOTS OF PAIN FROM BOUNCING OFF THE BLACK TAR

ANDY HAD A JAB AND STARTED ACTING SILLY
SINGING DIRTY SONGS ABOUT A CHURCH IN ABERGWILI
HE TOOK A NASTY FALL BUT IT WAS NO JOKE
SO INTO THE RV AND OFF TO LIVE OAK

CHORUS

AT LIVE OAK THERE WERE TWO TORNADO WARNINGS
THE RAIN WAS HEAVING DOWN TILL THE MORNING
RICH AWOKE TO FIND HIS BIKE WAS BROKEN
TO THE BBC POPPY HAD SPOKEN

FINAL DESTINATION ST AUGUSTINE
FOR THE BEACH AND SWIM WE WERE ALL LUSTING
THE SUN WAS BEATING DOWN LIKE WHEN WE STARTED
TWO WEEKS AGO FROM L.A. WE DEPARTED

CHORUS

NOW WE HAVE REACHED THE END OF OUR STORY
ANDY’S TWO YEAR PLANNING FOR THIS GLORY
IT WAS MUCH BETTER THAN OWNING A DEBENTURE
WE’VE ALL HAD A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE

CHORUS

CHORUS
LYRICS: COMMODORE MERVN COOPER
MELODY: THE BEAR/PORK PIE